Being twenty one was a wild ride. Aside from the fact that I can now drink Fireball in excess and not worry about getting arrested for it, the real world really opened itself up to me. I have dated different types of men in varying stages of their lives. I have attended black tie affairs with some of the wealthiest people in the world. I have been and seen places I never dreamed of going. And I have a learned a great deal about who I am as a person. And I am now here to present you all with some of the most important life lessons I’ve learned…thus far.
1. Parents are real people with real problems.
2. Making the bed in the morning is important.
3. Drug use isn’t cool anymore.
4. Having frequent doctor, dentist, and eye appointments are not just a suggestion.
5. The music of the 90s up until Lady Gaga happened were the best. Period.
6. Having a credit card isn’t just for online shopping. Building credit is important.
7. Flying on an airplane alone isn’t scary… it’s actually glamorous.
8. Drink cheap beer because you like it, not because it’s cheap.
9. If your wine has a screw top or comes in a box… it’s not real wine.
10. Same goes for liqueur in plastic bottles…that’s for high school seniors, and college freshmen.
11. Always wear a condom. A lesson at any age really.
12. Despite your highest level of education. Contribute something to society.
13. New York City, Los Angeles, and San Francisco will all still be there in a few years.
14. Drive the speed limit, and wear your seat belt.
15. Step outside of your comfort zone and go to a bunch of different kinds of bars.
16. Stop smoking. Even when you’re drunk. Just stop.
17. Move out of your parents house.
18. Retire the graphic tees that you have been wearing for umpteen years and get yourself a nice wardrobe. Including a nice suit.
19. Learn how to cook. And for bonus points… learn to grill.
20. You don’t need to be engaged, married, or having babies. Despite what your Facebook friends may tell you.
21. Drinking and driving at this point is absurd. You made it this far without an underage!
However. You’re still young and still sort of stupid. You’ll bounce back. I promise.